Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
Could he possibly be serious? I’m sitting at my desk working on the computer. It was one of those quiet days when I am so focused on the screen in front of me. The home phone rings.
I am always hesitant to answer the home line during the day. Why did it have to come to this? It seldom is a friend. Not that I don’t have friends. It is just that some telemarketer is sitting in a cubicle preying on the checkbook of those of us that stay home or work out of the house. Is usually someone asking for the “lady of the house” or MRS D. That’s a big clue there because I haven’t been MRS D for over a decade.
Ok.. so I hesitate, but grab the phone anyway. The gentleman on the other end was extremely polite. He introduced himself and stated the company he represented. “The Funeral Home?” I queried. “Are you kidding?” He said no and proceeded to start to ask me about my plans…. “Wait… wait…. MY plans? Do you know something that I don’t know yet?” I exploded with laughed until the tears rolled down my cheeks.
I explained to him that AARP (American Association of Retired People) has been encouraging me to join. The member ship is very affordable. I asked them how they could even consider asking for my membership. “Have you seen my complexion? Do I look like a prospective member? I am only a few years from the minimum age and I have only barely considered the 10% discount at Denny’s Restaurant a benefit… that equals to about 30 cents off a Grand Slam! But I haven’t joined AARP yet. How could I possibly be ready for the funeral home?
Well, back to the telemarketer. He started mentioning cremation and burial plots and the expense of a funeral. I have to admit there are other days this type of call would not at all amuse me. Days when you just return from a doctor and there are test results that you are waiting for. Can you imagine sitting by the phone, not so patiently waiting for the doctor to call and instead… the funeral home?
But, better yet.. the funeral home telemarketer started to explain that representatives would be in my neighborhood. “Egads… MY neighborhood? Are my neighbors all dying? Is there something in the water?”
I think I was too much for this fellow. He said it was his last call of the day. I was hysterical and thanked him for the hearty laughter!